Frankie says RELAX!

Today I have had an awesome day with my boy.
We haven't done anything special, usually I would class awesome as a trip to the zoo, Hove Park, swimming. You know, something 'special.'
But it started as any other day,actually it didn't because Monty slept till 6.30 in his own bed instead of crawling in with me. So good start. I got up with him and went to the loo as usual he was my audience. He found my weeing funny today instead of creating a fuss about lifting the seat for me and me slowly wetting myself while I wait, he let me get on with it and crooned to himself as I went about my business ''funny Mummy wee wee, silly Mummy wee wee!'' Fair enough whatever floats your boat darling boy. I was just happy at being allowed to have a wee!
It was a nursery day, so uniform was required this can sometimes take some coaxing as he likes to use the word NO alot when getting dressed. Today was no different, I suffered slightly less kicking during nappy changing, and instead of trying to wrestle him dressed, I turned my back on him, took a deep breath and counted to 5. Still no luck. I threatened the sorry step if he did not do as he was asked, he said no, I asked are you going to be Mummy's good boy? Bloody hell. He was letting me get him dressed! WHOOPWHOOP!
We had a nice breakfast together and we walked to nursery. After nursery Daddy and I collected him, he played with Daddy with the train set and Daddy wento to work on a late shift. Monty told me ''Daddy nee naw car, Daddy Policeman!''
We went on an adventure, well that was what Mo called it, but just to the beach, we sat on the pebbles and had snuggles, he walked along the wall of the promenade laughing and holding my hand and jumping precariously off the end!
He had a tantrum when I said it was time to go, but I took a deep breath. And carried on. He followed, and apologised. Feck! Where is my boy???
We ate dinner, he had a bath, he wanted me to get in so I did, we played with the water toys, got in our pjs and drank milk, tea and ate biscuits. No tv.
We went to bed early, he asked for music on choosing baby einstein music cd,and I read him stories till he fell asleep. I looked ta him for ages. My beautiful, gorgeous boy.
Night night.xxx

Placenta Brain?

They say you get stupider when up the duff. Well I do. I really do.
This week I have been searching for one of my baby bibles, the Tracey Hogg Baby Whisperer book. It was not on the shelf and I could see a gap, and damn it, I wanted to read it again so I was all Tracey Hogged for Pickle bump.
Had I loaned it to someone? I started texting mates. No.
I started doubting them- they've nicked it, it's such a good book they want my copy.
A day went by.
I found it.
On the shelf above.


Wednesday, a poo in the potty! Go Mo!
Oh wait! Another Poo in the potty? Score!

Yesterday, a fart in the bath, well actually a shart.
Oh my, thats interesting. I'll get the shower running. Never mind Monty.

My difficult boy

I love my little ball of fluffy blonde hair and fun implicitly, more than life itself and would without shadow of a doubt give up my own life for him. But I cannot deny, he is difficult.
From birth he was a fussy natured lil chap, struggled to breast feed and rarely liked to be put down which for those early days is fine but eventually you realise WTF! It's 1pm and I have not showered, dressed or brushed my teeth and I need a cuppa, pronto!!! Which cannot go on.
He obviously became less needy thankfully as I would never have emptied the dish washer or hoovered and would be drowning under a sea of used tea mugs and layers of dog hair.
He then became the best sleeper, 11pm til 7am from 10weeks, then 6pm till 7am from 4 months. And 2 good long naps in the day, this was bliss and we had some gorgeous contented months, I felt on top of the world, I had the hang of it, breastfeeding was successful up to 6 months, he weaned well, ate like a trooper, I was doing my best to be Annabel Karmel and Jools Oliver all rolled into one, but as he got older he wasn't doing things like the other babies. He did not sit till 9months old, Health Visitor was concerned at his 9month check,didn't crawl until 14months, cruised along furniture but would not walk, eventually he did at 16months-but it felt like a long wait!!Evenually he caught up and now he is a whirl wind of chatter, movement and as bright as they come, but still he is clingy and can whinge so much through the day that sometimes I feel on the edge of a cliff! I rarely get to go to the loo on my own or if I do he pounds the door down wailing!!!
I do my best, but it's hard. Especially as I have worked in childcare, and am studying childrens care, learning and development now. I feel as though I should have all the answers.
I would love to get through a day without tantrums, being kicked when I change his nappy, refusing to get dressed or do as he's asked.
Every night I go to bed thinking tommorow I'll be a better Mummy, I won't lose my temper, I'll be patient.
Until recently I thought deep down it was me, it must have been something I had done, after all no such thinng as bad children just bad parenting- apparently!
But then not long ago I was being assessed for my course, and my tutor said to me her son was so like Monty, and she could see he was bright, had his own idea's and did not want to folow the pack, which made me feel better.
And since then I have tried. So hard. I used reward charts, stickers, treats for good behaviour, try to keep my cool, count to 5, use a sorry spot for calming him down and getting an apology if he has done something which needs correcting and generally try to be as positive as I can.
It does work, but we are only human us Mums so we still have good days and bad.
He is improving every day, and with him so am I. I love him more than Topshop, chocolate, cupcakes and Paul Weller. And you know what? I would never ever change him because he makes me a better Mum and with that a better person.
I felt this post needed to be written, as Mum's have a tendancy to pretend everything is the mutts nuts when actually we are struggling.
Anyhoo, it's cheaper than therapy!!!!


Are you having a laugh?

Sometimes I feel as if it could only happen to me, or us as in our family, we just seem to deal with oddness on a day to day basis so much so now that I am used to it.
This week I spilt a drink on the laptop. Actually no thats a lie, it sounds like I was typing away and knocked a drink over in a crass hap hazard devil may care 'look at me I have a drink next to my lap top look at me living on the wild side' fashion....but I didn't I DIDN'T! My Nan always told me how dangerous this was so I NEVER EVER have a drink next to my treasured shopping/chatting prized possession.
I was merely passing my drink over it to place on shelf away from it and it, well, spilt. Laptop was wetted, laptop was deaded, laptop was hair dryed, laptop still deaded. Left for a few days, still deaded. Veins in my head started swelling. I wanted to tweet, facebook, check emails, shop, browse...urrrgh. Could still function on it but the 3 sent everything I had done to delete , the t kept sending me to Tescos.com and do not even get me started on the 1, and of course my passwords for said applications all had the deaded sodding letters in them. I kept trying to tweet on twitter without using the letter t. I sounded gangster. It did not suit me.
So the upshot is Lovely gorgeous Mummy has loaned me hers and ours is being looked at by insurers.
But it got me to thinking about the surreal stuff that happens like when Monty hid our remote it was gone weeks only to be found in my Husbands police riot boots (obviously no riots occurred, I wish they had and we would have got our sodding remote back!!)During this same time he hid the house phone I could hear it ringing I just could not find it! It was in such a ridiculous place I am too embarrassed to admit as I should have looked...but you are kind of getting the picture.
The worst time was when I got painted up the stairs. Sounds odd? Well it was. It lead me to joining twitter in fact out of sheer bloody boredom.This is what happened. We live in a Victorian house with original floor boards which are too knackered for varnish but paint hides their sins. I had seen in Living Etc magazine someone had painted their boards black and I loved it so this was what I wanted. In the livingroom, diningroom and hallway including our stairs and upstairs landing. But of course Mr took ages in doing it and Monty, the dog and I ended up being trapped upstairs without much to do,Monty wasn't going to bed, the dog pissed himself, Monty walked through it in his Roary the Racing car slippers- it was messy, but very funny! Stupid thing was I had done the first coat on the stairs the week before and had painted myself downstairs and had to wait for it to dry before I could go to bed. Luckily Mr was working and I had put Monty to bed before I started, but I went to bed very late that night.
Anyone else sometimes feel that it could only happen to them?


Beetroots and Gherkins

So! I have done it, taken zee plunge and got ma'self a lil ole bloggy what not type thing, to diarise all the bonkers shenanigens that occur in my house, with my son Monty i.e Motherhood and with Pickle i.e my (2nd)pregnancy.
Bump is nicknamed pickle due to my cravings for anything well, pickled!! Gherkins, beetroot, picalilli, I also currently adore sliced mozzarella with balsamic vinigar. Now i know that one is a pregnancy craving as I served some up to best Husband and he said it tasted of shoe. So hence the rather crap blog name Beetroots and Gherkins! Although I have to admit to feeling a bit of a fraud as I am mostly in Beetroot zone and Gherkins seems to have passed, I occasionally find myself head in fridge hoovering one up pig style but it's mostly BEETROOTS. I heart them.
A week ago Monday I had beetroot in my sandwhich, read the same for about 20 days previous, and read the same for all the days since then...except yesterday.... It was odd. I was at a birthday party with Monty and scoffing pizza, salad, pitta, wedges and houmous and had the irrational thought '' why are there no effing beetroots!!!'' I coped. Of course I did. But you get the picture.
So anyway, a rather bizarre intro to my blog, I should introduce myself etc etc but 1. Can't be arsed and 2. I don't want to to peak to early- keep reading and I'll keep revealing!!!